From Here To There, The Ladybug and the Dragonfly

Sophia's Award

2012-01-21T19:14:00.000-08:00

Out of the entire first grade, Sophia was selected for an award at school this week. The award was for displaying good character as defined by the school's six pillars of character: citizenship, responsibility, trustworthiness, respect, caring and fairness. I wish I could say that I thought we have had a lot to do with the building of her character, but mostly I think that is just who she has always been.

We are very proud of our kind little girl. Keep up the good work Sophia!

Mambo has returned

2012-01-18T21:49:00.000-08:00

Just over three years ago, when the kids were very little and I was perhaps a little over my head (two in diapers and one was pretty ill), we had decided that Mambo needed a new home because I simply did not have the time to devote to him that he really deserved. For his home, I found a teenager that adored him but who also promised to first offer to return him to me if she no longer could care for him. Just over six weeks ago, she told me that she was heading for college soon and could not afford to take him with her, did I want want him back?

At first, I dismissed the notion, after all, I had hadn't ridden in over three years. I started riding when I was two years old and prior to this stint, the longest I had ever gone without being near a horse was a few weeks at most, so I was very, very, hesitant.

In the meantime, one of my friend's from high school did something amazing. After Christmas, we went to visit her and she put me on her wonderful horse for two days. That experience gave me the confidence to believe that I could handle this challenge. The ear to ear grin I sported for those two days apparently gave Colin the steadfast belief that I still belonged on a horse.

Voila....Mambo arrived from his long journey from Michigan just last week. We are both finding our way back to each other and it is going to take some time to get in synch. But today, for the very first time in three years, when I whistled to him as he relaxed in the turnout, he immediately responded with a nicker and whiny...and lo and behold, there was my ear to ear grin again.........

Catching up on life that is racing by.....

2012-01-18T21:34:00.001-08:00

Our slightly nutty new dog (adopted last March), is finally coming around. We literally could not bring out a camera without him fleeing for safety. On this particular day, he actually posed!

Last week, just before Colin returned to Japan, Keenan decided it was time to ride his bike for real...without training wheels.

He took to it like the proverbial duck to water, but perhaps a little too well as he seems to have absolutely no fear and is already trying to do 'tricks'. Keenan's 'tricks' have already shaved a few years off my life but he reports that he is having FUN. Sophia has been more tentative and is still very shaky without training wheels, but she does seem to enjoy coming out the barn with me. Yup, that is right, a horse is back in my life, eeh gad.

Sweet Sophia

2011-12-22T21:18:00.000-08:00

Sophia is just finishing her first semester as a first grader and she LOVES it! She was recently selected for a Mandarin competition and although she did not prevail as the overall winner, we were so proud of how much she practiced and her incredible poise in front of a large crowd.

Sophia is delighted to have Grandma living 2 miles from us (new development that happened in July) and is longing for Nanny and Opah to move here too. In the meantime, she is a feisty six year old, opinionated, intelligent and full of love, at times, tempestuous and, above all and at all times, ALL GIRL!

Kinder Keenan

2011-12-22T21:07:00.000-08:00

Yup, Keenan is in Kindergarten (well private Kinder as he missed the cut off by two weeks). He is doing great, loves to read, LOVES dinosaurs and everything National Geographic. We are not sure if he will be in the Mandarin Immersion program for first grade next year or will have to repeat Kinder, but we believe that, somehow, it will all work out. In the meantime, in the past six months, he has had endured three staples in the head (fell on a chair when he was playing with Sophia), a few more bouts of pneumonia, a test for Cystic Fibrosis (which was thankfully negative) and various other ailments. But at the moment, anyway, he is doing just fine. Funny, exceptionally bright, insightful, perceptive, and often mercurial (and not always in a good way), that is our Keenan in a nutshell. When I think of Keenan, I think of a line from Seabiscuit, "when the the little guy doesn't know he is a little guy, he can do great things." Never a boring moment around this little boy.

Halloween time 2011

2011-12-22T21:03:00.000-08:00

Two cooks

2011-12-22T21:01:00.000-08:00

Sophia is my Christmas cookie apprentice and she is an amazing helper. She has more than earned her very own pink spatula!

Pancakes with Santa Claus

2011-12-22T20:54:00.000-08:00

In our community, we have the opportunity to have breakfast with Santa Claus. The kids had a blast and nearly ate their weight in pancakes. Notice that Keenan has picked up the habit of putting his hands in his pockets, ala Daddy. Funny thing when nurture overtakes nature.

Christmas time in the desert....

2011-12-22T20:42:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, I just looked at the date of my last post, where the heck have I been? Time flies, and lately, it has been flying at light speed for me. Everyone in our family is doing just fine, with a few blips here and there, just like everyone else.....but all in all, we are doing fine in the desert that I love so much.

Is it real or is it Memorex?

2011-05-06T22:50:00.000-07:00

For those of us that are old enough to remember that tag line.....are you seeing double? Are these photos of the same dog? Perhaps.

Actually, no.

In reality, we got another rescue dog (what the hey was I thinking? -and it was totally my fault by the way).

To hear me tell it, in early March, we went to the Adoption Fair to simply "check things out". With poor long suffering Marzie trailing behind us, we walked by the Aussie rescue after have been spurned by the Golden Retriever Rescue group, only to hear "hey, we have your dog's twin". Turns out, they were right. In looks anyway. Not so much in terms of temperament. Hold on, that's not totally true. Both dogs are great with kids. But Marz is sooooo mellow, whereas, Sully is, to put it pure and simple, a spaz. With the help of our great dog trainer, he is steadily improving, so hopefully we will move more in the Marz realm of being.

What the hey was I thinking? Apparently I was thinking that complicating our life was a fantastic idea! Of course, this was all before March 11th, so I think that I should be given a pass on this particular brainstorm.

So which one is which?

Hint, only Marz has a tail.

Pretty in Pink

2011-05-06T22:44:00.000-07:00

Colin's sister gave Sophia this beautiful dress quite some time ago. The dress finally fits her and Easter was the perfect place to debut said dress. Sophia loves flowers so she has been diligent about helping us look after our new plants.

Splash Park Fun

2011-05-06T22:37:00.000-07:00

When the kids were sick, I saw temperatures reaching as high as 106. By comparison, 102 in Phoenix should be child's play. Oh wait, it was child's play, in the splash park that is.

Cool fun to be had by everyone.

Concert in the Park

2011-05-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

Many years have passed since we took Sophia and Keenan to the Beatles tribute band concert in the park in Michigan. They were thrilled that warm summer evening.

Tonight, we were able to attend a concert in the park but the absence of Colin and the Beatles music left the pint sized audience less than enthused.

Kind of a rough month......

2011-05-06T20:53:00.000-07:00

One of my friends posted a message on my Facebook Wall to the effect of......post some new photos for heaven's sake!

I could make a lot of excuses for my latest prolonged absence....OK, so I'm going to make a few excuses. So there!

Long story short. Since my last post, Keenan had pneumonia again......twice. Yes, you read that correctly, TWICE! (For those keeping track, that is pneumonia number 7 or 8-heck, even I've lost count). To make it worse, Colin has been in Japan.

Keenan's Dr. (quite rightly) told us that he should be tested for Cystic Fibrosis (que: minor meltdown on my part though I had suspected the suggestion was imminent). In the meantime, Sophia picked up Strep (oh, the good times are really rolling now). Thankfully the Children's Hospital here in Phoenix wasted no time scheduling Keenan's test and we were able to get it taken care of this past Monday.

I am ecstatic to report that Keenan's test results were negative. We don't really have an explanation for his repeated lung infections but, at least, we now know what's not causing them. Next month, he has an appointment with a pediatric pulmonologist and we hope it could eventually shed light into his respiratory ailments.

The week prior to all this, his teacher and the director of his school had been telling me what a remarkable kid he was. Bright, compassionate and beyond his years (it was nice to hear but we already knew it). But as we awaited his test results, all I could think of was how much Keenan has already been through, how far he has come and how grateful we would be if this was one less thing he had to face. So we are incredibly grateful and yet I know we never know what the future holds. So my feelings of joy are somewhat tempered with a sense of caution and continued concern.

So there are my excuses, such as they are.

I will say this...as corny as it may sound, this experience has made me realize how fragile it all is. Health really can be everything. Like most people, I tend to take it for granted but I absolutely shouldn't and that's really all I have to say on the subject.

p.s. The photos will be forthcoming

Family

2011-03-26T16:38:00.000-07:00

Before

2011-03-26T16:28:00.000-07:00

Before photos... Note the elegant dining table, I mean, card table.

After

2011-03-26T16:06:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago we had installed artificial turf in our backyard to replace the rocky landscape which was not exactly conducive for kids. To finish things up, today we had some landscaping done to the front and back. The new furniture replaced the grungy card table set that had been functioning as our outdoor eating space. We are really happy with how everything turned out, we just couldn't have chosen a worse time to spend a big chunk of change. Oh well, after all, they do say hindsight is 20/20.

The internet connection in Japan is spotty right now, so I decided to put these photos on the blog so Colin can see the finished product without having to struggle with downloading a bunch of photos.

Hoola Hoops, Dogs and Pandas

2011-03-26T15:48:00.000-07:00

These photos are for Colin who is missing the kids and probably needs a photo fix right about now. The weather is fine right now and the kids are taking full advantage of our backyard which is no longer solely comprised of rock but rather plenty of the green stuff. OK...fake green stuff, but green nonetheless.

Japan

2011-03-26T14:57:00.001-07:00

I just realized that it has been over a month since I last posted and I wonder where the time went. But when I give it a little more thought, I know exactly where it went.

My birthday came and went, we turned our rock laden back yard into a desert oasis, and worked on other home improvements and then along came March 11th.

March 11th......by sheer luck, Colin had just called in sick for that day and was not in Japan when the earthquake struck. His roommate was there and said he was scared to death and was certain the building he was in was going to collapse. The fridge in their apartment ended up halfway across the room and the rest of the apartment was involuntarily rearranged. Thankfully no one we knew was hurt.

The devastation in Japan is incredible and unfathomable. During the crisis, we never turned the T.V. on because the kids were home on Spring Break and we didn't want them to see it and worry about Colin returning. However, we followed it closely on the Internet. Emotionally, I kept myself pretty distant in order to cope with the task of gathering information and making the very difficult decision about when he would return to work. For some reason, that emotional distance crumbled when I saw the video of the two dogs. At that moment, the tears started flowing and didn't stop for quite some time.

Colin returned to work this past Tuesday. The situation at the nuclear plant is unstable at best, the aftershocks are frequent, the stores have no food or water and the feeling of uncertainty is palpable.

In the face of what people who endured the tsunami and those who live near the Fukushima plant are going through, the turmoil our family is suddenly experiencing pales by comparison. It is humbling to see the stoicism and quiet determination of the Japanese people. Yet we have to face some realities too. We recognize that after two years working in Japan, Colin's job security is suddenly precarious at best. We are hoping things will stabilize and be OK but realize that the future is far from certain.

In reality, all of our futures are uncertain, all of the time. Fortunately, most of the time, we are just not that cognizant of how quickly your life can change with little or no warning.

For now, we take it day by day and formulate our strategy to adapt and survive. When I was in the police academy, I had an instructor who always used to preach that in any difficult situation we should challenge ourselves to "improvise, adapt, and overcome." During the academy, his endless repetition of this philosophy drove me nuts. But at times like this, I'm grateful for his platitudes because that particular one helps reminds me to stay focused, on my feet, and seek out a viable solution.

Meanwhile, our thoughts and best wishes go out to those who have lost so much during this surreal tragedy and we pray the situation in Fukushima doesn't get any worse.

Orange faces and orange spaces......

2011-02-13T18:45:00.001-08:00

Today's temperature marked the return of some classic Arizona winter weather that we know and love. The kids and I made our way to our community park to partake of some ice cream, trains and playground fun. Sophia's popsicle gave her orange lips and orange teeth and Keenan's face had remnants of orange and green Ninja turtle ice cream. The day took it's leave in spectacular tones of orange and pink. The photos can never do the sunsets justice, but at least gives hints of the beauty that can be found just outside our window.

6/26/06 "Who Knew?"

2011-02-11T19:55:00.000-08:00

Today, 02/11/11, I was pursuing some old posts in the blog to help with a school project for Sophia, a 'Things about me" poster. As I was revisiting the past, I came across this old post from 2006. The last paragraph caught my attention (the one about Colin worrying about Sophia and his prolonged absences (uh, those absences were a maximum of 5 days back then, now we consider ourselves lucky this month because he will only be gone 17 days). I thought to myself.....self, some of these sentiments were worth revisiting. Only this time, I will feature of a fetching photo of Sophia in the red dress we bought her in China almost 5 years ago. She wore it for Chinese New Year's last week and she looked amazing. She is no longer a little baby, but rather, she is a bright, funny, insightful girl who is growing up so fast, right before my very eyes.

Before we took Colin to the airport this morning, she told him (in a very matter of fact manner, "you know Daddy, you are gone twice as long as you are ever home"). I know his heart broke because he relayed to me this exchange with a pained expression on his face. Make no mistake, we are both grateful that Colin has a good job. We're just hoping that, sometime soon, he can return back to work in the U.S. and, perhaps, once again, only be away for four to five days at a time. A girl can dream, can't she? Make that girls can dream, can't we? Darn, better make that, a family can dream, can't we? After all, we don't want to exclude the boys (Keenan or Colin) who long for the very same thing.

Without further adieu, here comes 2006.......

********************************************
I was never someone who wanted children from a very young age. When I was 10, I didn't play with my Barbies and dream about my wedding day. When I was 18, 25, 30, 35 or 36, I NEVER thought about having children. (My friends and family who are reading this will chuckle at that memory).

I was the insensitive restaurant server who would cringe at the sound of a baby crying and the flight attendant who felt sorry for ANYONE who had the misfortune to be seated next to the family of four. I wasn't known to coo over babies and I never babysat the neighbors kids (well, maybe the four legged kind).

I would shake my head in wonder over mothers who adeptly changed poopy diapers and recoil at the thought of sticky little fingers and faces in high chairs. The only maternal urges I ever seemed to have completely revolved around horses. I would see a newborn foal and think "awww, that is so cute, I gotta get one of those some day."

I swore to my family, friends, and anyone else who would listen that I would NEVER have children.

And then I met Colin. And then a lot of my friends had babies and I discovered, much to my amazement, that I liked them. When Colin and I got married, I told him I was still pretty sure I didn't want kids and he still married me. What changed? I have absolutely no idea! That is not totally true. I think I finally met the right person (Colin) and perhaps, I just grew up a little.

That is not to suggest that people who choose not to have children are not grown up. I still have a lot of friends who will never have children and they are quite grown up, responsible and wonderful people. I guess what I mean is that, aside from the fact that, prior to Colin, I had never met anyone I could imagine having children with, I was also very terrified of the responsibility of having children.

Having a child is the ultimate exercise in responsibility and self sacrifice. Your life no longer revolves around you (which is as it should be). As a true blue egocentric, that utterly terrified me. I cherished the freedom to go where I like, when I like. A child was tantamount to being shackled and that was just not for me....... or so I thought.

I guess by the time Colin and I got married, I realized that I had pretty much done as I pleased for most of my life. I traveled to most, not all, but most of the places I had dreamed about going. Colin...if you are taking notes, Greece is still on my list.....say for a five year wedding gift or such. I had accomplished enough things and looked around and said to myself "is this all there is?" I realized how much I missed being close to my family. Colin missed his. And I thought to myself "self, we are both such family oriented people, why are we not raising one?"

Perhaps it really was just my biological clock kicking in and setting off alarm bells. When I readied myself to tell Colin I thought we should have children, I think I warned him to sit down as I thought the shock of my change of heart might be too much for him. I should not have been so worried, he took it in stride and in his usual unflappable manner, replied "really?"

So this lengthy diatribe was inspired by a thought I had the other day. I was busy cleaning the boogers out of Sophia's nose after realizing that just moments before I had been kissing her proffered sticky fingers while she had been eating. Those same little fingers that very likely had been up her nose full of boogers minutes before. Then I went and changed her fourth poopy diaper of the day. And some time between the fingers and the diaper, I realized "wait, what on earth has happened to me?" I was unfazed by the boogers or the poop. I don't mind her sticky fingers and I am unbothered by her screams. *****OK, I do have to admit here that she does have one type of scream that does get under my skin. It is so loud and blood curdling that, in my opinion, it holds all the charm of nails on a chalkboard.*****Aside from that particular scream, I really don't mind any of it.

She has become very talkative lately and I just could spend hours listening to her babble and discourse about 'who knows what'.....***wait, I actually do listen to her for hours, so I guess I can take out the "I could" part, because I already do. The key here is that I love it. I love her, I love how she has changed me and brought me closer to Colin. I love watching her play with my Mom who has this little girl so charmed that she literally squeals and jumps when my Mom enters a room.

It is not all wonderful and sweet. Parenthood is hard sometimes and there are moments when I hope that I really am up for the job. Having said all that, I know that, although being a parent involves sacrifices, I do not feel like a martyr. Sophia is a joy, mixed in with some frustration, stress, worry and even a little anger at times. But more than anything, I just look at her and feel this indescribable sense of love.

My heart aches for Colin who would like nothing more than to be with his family. This week he ended up on the road for over five days. While he loved hearing his daughter laugh on speaker phone (Nana was making silly faces), he misses Sophia terribly and fears her reaction of his long absence. He really has nothing to fear. When we got our referral, we sent the orphanage a photo album with pictures of our family to be given to Sophia. It was returned to us on Gotcha Day and is still one of her favorite toys. Today I found her tracing the outline of her Dad's face and I know that she misses him and will be overjoyed to see him.

But I digress. The headline of the post was titled "who knew?" It sure wasn't me. I never knew that I liked little girls with sticky fingers, boogers, poopy diapers, giggles, smiles, and a whole lot of love to give. I didn't, but I sure do now :)

What Do You Do With A Scurvy Pirate?

2011-02-09T13:34:00.001-08:00

The kids love the Noggin show, Backyardagins and one of their favorite episodes is "Pirate Treasure". Every now and then, I will hear one (or both of the kids) break into their rendition of "What do you do with a scurvy Pirate?"

Today, one of Keenan's classmates celebrated a birthday and brought in pirate treats for everyone. Colin was able to document the moment. Priceless.

26.2

2011-02-06T18:05:00.000-08:00

I've wanted to complete a marathon for the past several years but, last year, I promised myself that I would finally complete one before my next birthday. Well, you know Murphy and his laws. I was signed up for the PF Changs Marathon last month but several events converged to put a monkey wrench in my best laid plans.

So here I was, with my next Birthday rapidly approaching in three weeks and I had a goal to meet. But how to meet it? Colin and I talked it over and I realized that I really didn't need to participate in a scheduled marathon event to accomplish my goal. In fact, running an "at home marathon" had some distinct advantages. 1) Colin could be home when I ran it, so he could take care of the kids. 2) If we mapped a good route near our house, I could always run home every 3.3 miles to ensure I had access to water, nutrition and, almost as important, a bathroom! (of course, it meant 8 laps, tempting me to call it a day and stay at home with each pass, but...... 3) since I had my own home grown cheering section, I figured they would motivate me enough to keep going.

And so it was decided. Initially, we aimed to have me run the 26.2 miles the first week in March. But the weather was nice and cool this weekend, so I went for a run today and told Colin that I would run a few laps and see if I felt like I could keep going. Long story short, by the time I run 13.1, I figured I might as well finish it up.

More hours went by then I care to remember (or would like to admit), but the end result was that I finished, and didn't even have any blisters on my feet to complain about and my knees held up without a hint of soreness. Of course, the chaffing from my bra (and I wore two to try to minimize it) and the soreness in leg muscles are another story all together. The important thing is, I met my goal, and have no intention of running another marathon, ever again.

Many thanks to my supportive husband and great cheering section (in the form of Sophia, Keenan and Marz). Colin even missed the beginning of the Super Bowl to help me see this craziness through and he did it without complaint. Thanks to my homegrown marathon team, I couldn't have done it without you.

One final note. During the last 6 miles of my run, my body was begging me to stop, and it was very tempting to oblige. But aside from my family waiting for me, another thing helped me to keep going. I have a book of famous quotes that I read every now and then and I hadn't looked at it in some time. But yesterday, I happened to pick it up and the page fell open to a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt about fear and resilience. To sum it up, she said, "you must do the thing you think you cannot do." So at mile 20, when my body really started to resist my intentions, I repeated that very wise quote to myself as often as was needed to keep my legs moving. Lo and behold, it worked. Many thanks to First Lady Roosevelt as well.

Daddy's Home

2011-02-01T18:08:00.000-08:00

Colin arrived home yesterday and the kids are stuck to him like glue. We're so happy to have him home.

Sophia is eager to wear her red Mandarin style dress on Thursday for Chinese New Year. While we were tracking down the dress, we discovered another outfit we had purchased for her on our China trip over 4 years ago. Thankfully the outfit still fits, she looked beautiful and she received a lot of compliments when she wore it to school.

Beefy and Casey

2011-02-01T17:53:00.000-08:00

Many moons ago, when Colin was still flying for United, he went to England and brought home a stuffed Queen's Guard for Sophia. I mistakenly thought it was a Beefeater Guard and Sophia named the bear "Beefy". My English mother-in-law was dismayed by my error and quickly corrected me. But the damage was done and the name Beefy stuck. He and Bunny (Rabbity) are Sophia's favorite stuffed animals.

Keenan's favorite stuffed animal isn't actually his at all. His favorite is his class mascot, a little black bear named Casey. Keenan got another turn taking Casey for the week. He carries her everywhere, she even went to Hawaii with us. Of course, every once in a while, he forgets where he put Casey and it takes a family effort to locate the wayward bear. On this visit, Keenan inexplicably put Casey in a play kitchen drawer and promptly forgot where he put her. An hour of searching later, Sophia finally located Casey. This was a great relief to me because I had visions of having to tell his teacher, Miss Pattee, that Keenan misplaced Casey.

With that in mind, I found out where Miss Pattee originally got Casey. I have since arranged for Casey's identical twin sister, "Kacee" (replete with the requisite jingly kitty collar) to pay a visit on Valentine's Day and join our family. I'm certain that Casey will remain Keenan's favorite, but I'm sure that Keenan will still be thrilled to meet Kacee.

48 Hours...In Honolulu

2011-01-23T19:23:00.000-08:00

Yes, 48 Hours in Honolulu for me and the kids, 24 hours for Colin. It was a long trip but well worth it to spend some time together. Most people who have ever read our blog have probably figured out that I love Hawaii, a lot. Honolulu, however, is not one of my favorite places. The tropical breezes are great, but I can do without the city noise and congestion. Having said all that, this trip wasn't about being Hawaii, it was just about being together as a family and that mission was accomplished. We arrived home last night and we are recovering and catching up on our sleep. Hopefully, the kids will do just fine in school tomorrow.

Gotcha Day Revisited

2011-01-17T18:10:00.001-08:00

I had to actually dig around for the original Gotcha Day post, it was worth the effort.

http://ourjourneytosophia.blogspot.com/2007/01/introducing-baby-keenan.html

Blast from the past

2011-01-17T18:04:00.001-08:00

Today, I went back to January 0f 2007 to read my posts four years later, some really cute photos of the kids and memories, mostly good, some bad. One thing is for sure, it made me cry to see our tiny guy.

http://ourjourneytosophia.blogspot.com/2007_01_01_archive.html

Book Worms

2011-01-17T10:29:00.000-08:00

Keenan and Sophia love to read and be read to and I'm really proud of all their efforts to practice reading.

Twin Hats

2011-01-17T10:25:00.000-08:00

Colin's Mom knitted a new hat for Colin, now father and son have nearly matching hats and they both look so handsome.

Tooth Troubles

2011-01-17T10:20:00.000-08:00

The kids had their second dental check this week. This time, Sophia's teeth were in good shape but Keenan was not quite so fortunate. I have had a hard time flossing his very back molars because he has a strong gag reflex. Now he has a deep cavity between two of his back teeth and will have to undergo sedation and a metal crown to correct the problem. For his part, Keenan is now trying very hard to let me floss his back teeth without throwing up in my lap. Poor kid.

Zoo Two

2011-01-17T10:08:00.000-08:00

This weekend, we put our annual Zoo membership to work. With Colin back at work, the kids needed a distraction and this outing was just the ticket.

This month, we're going to head to Hawaii for two days to meet Colin on one of his layovers. Even though we will really only see each other for less than a day, the kids are very excited to see him and it just makes the three weeks go by a little faster.

p.s. Sophia took the primate photos.

Happy Gotcha!

2011-01-17T07:52:00.001-08:00

Jaunary 15th was the fourth anniversary of Keenan's Gotcha Day! We celebrated it a couple of days early while Colin was still home. Keenan loved his chocolate cake that Sophia helped make.

After his belly was full, we sat down to watch our gotcha day videos. Keenan's was up first. I couldn't get over how tiny he was when he was placed in my arms. And this time, I noticed something I had long forgotten...how much he smiled at me that first day. He would study me with a serious expression and then he would suddenly flash this amazing smile before returning to his contemplative state. He did this several times in the first minutes of our meeting and I can't believe I had forgotten it.

Actually, now that I think of it, given all that happened on that trip to Vietnam, it's incredible I remember anything at all. For those who may not remember, Sophia, Colin and I all got very ill two days after Gotcha Day. Colin and I became so sick, that we landed in the SOS hospital. Meanwhile, local nannies took over the care of Sophia and Keenan until we were healthy enough to care for them. Sophia's wrenching scream when they took her away from us to the room one floor down was something I'll never forget. The two days away from the kids were torture and we were so happy when we were all reunited. As the days went by, it became glaringly apparent that Keenan health issues were not just a result of a virus. We were desperate to get back to the States to have him seen by a pediatric specialist. Of course, that couldn't happen until his Visa was in hand. It took almost two more weeks to get his passport and visa. Finally we were able to go home. Of course, that meant a pretty circuitous route. We flew first to Saigon and then Beijing, and finally, Beijing to Chicago.

Our flight was delayed out of Saigon, so we very nearly missed our connection in China. Which would have caused a major problem since we didn't have Chinese Visas. When we landed in Chicago, I remember thinking how good it felt to be back on U.S. soil.

As we waited over an hour for or bags and made our way through immigration, there were a few more bumps in the road. Keenan had an episode of explosive diarrhea, much of which wound up on my hands (while we were waiting by the baggage carousel I might add). When we finally did get our bags, Colin nearly got into some hot water when, in his mounting frustration, (the baggage delay caused us to be in the immigration line for a really long time), he threw a bag onto a customs conveyor belt with more force than necessary and the bag nearly hit a custom's officer. Thankfully the custom's officer seemed unphased and we finally were able to go pick up our car. We still faced a three hour drive, it was bitterly cold and starting to snow furiously, kicking up a horrible mixture of mud and snow, to make matters worse, our window shield wipe fluid was frozen solid, but at least we were on our way home.

At the time, Keenan was such a sick baby and he slept so little that a lot of that first year was a blur. So I am really grateful we have that first meeting on video. It's so much like who he is now. He tends to wear a serious expression as he thinks about things or asks questions (something he does a lot), but then he will smile all of the sudden and he lights up the whole room.

Keenan loves to laugh, play, and use his imagination. He is constantly questioning the world around him and has been doing remarkably well in pre-school. He is naturally inquisitive and sweet, so far, his biggest challenge has been his selective hearing.

So much has happened in the past four years, but one thing is certain, Keenan is an amazing kid who often makes me laugh and reminds me not to take life quite so seriously.

Fun in the Sun

2011-01-02T15:28:00.000-08:00

OK, it has been unseasonably cold here for the better part of a week, but at least the sun is back and warmer weather is on its way. As far as I'm concerned, it can't get here soon enough. Meanwhile, we've still been having fun, it's great getting to spend time together.

Snow???

2011-01-02T15:22:00.000-08:00

Yup, the other day it snowed, right here in sunny old central Arizona. The last time I remember this happening was in 1985. The kids just looked at us like the world had rotated on its axis.

Another Amazing Arizona Sunset

2011-01-02T15:01:00.000-08:00

I caught sight of this from our backyard and ran outside with our camera in hand and Sophia at my side to capture the spectacular closing of the day.

Christmas Day

2010-12-26T09:19:00.000-08:00

Keenan could hardly contain himself this Christmas. He was anxious to open all his presents at once to make sure Santa had brought the motorized Thomas track that he has been coveting for months. Santa came through and Nana's, Aunts and Uncles ensured that he also had several new train for that track. We surprised Sophia with a doll house she hadn't asked Santa for.

Both of the kids had been doing chores around the house for a month to earn enough money to buy each other presents. They loved exchanging gifts with one another and had also made us some wonderful presents at school. But the best gift of all was that Colin was home for Christmas.

Countdown to Santa

2010-12-26T09:10:00.000-08:00

On Christmas Eve, the kids baked some fresh cookies for Santa, put out some carrots for the reindeer and then jumped on the computer to check Norad's Santa Tracker. They also got to talk to a volunteer at Norad who let them know that it was time to head to bed because Santa was on his way. They were sooo incredibly excited but went to bed with little delay.

Family Time

2010-12-24T15:05:00.000-08:00

Sophia's smile says it all, she is one happy girl to have her Daddy home.

New Hats

2010-12-24T15:00:00.000-08:00

The kids had outgrown the snowman hats that Grandma made them when they were younger. Fortunately, Grandma knitted some new ones and they are back in the Christmas spirit. Despite weather flirting with 70 degrees, the kids were more than happy to don their new hats.

With Great Anticipation....

2010-12-24T14:53:00.000-08:00

You might think that the kids are incredibly excited about an impending visit from a man all dressed in red, and you would be right. However, in these photos, Sophia's smile is entirely about the arrival of someone else all together, Daddy! I'm happy to report that he arrived home yesterday after a 20 day absence. Sophia got dressed up to the nines and Keenan worked diligently on a welcome home card.

Zoo Lights

2010-12-24T14:47:00.000-08:00

Every year, The Phoenix Zoo opens at night for 'Zoo Lights'. Last night, we took the kids for the first time. The lights were beautiful, the kids had a great time but it was quite literally, a zoo. The amount of people attending was mind boggling. We lasted for almost two hours but then it was time to exit the Zoo and head home to our calm and quiet house.

Mrs. Malaprop

2010-12-21T19:08:00.000-08:00

I had never really heard of Mrs. Malaprop or malapropisms until some time in my teens. My cousin and his wife were visiting and we were taking a walk in our front yard. I spotted a 'covey of quail' and pointed them out, only my pronounciation was way off and my cousins burst out laughing. I had no idea that I had said anything funny. In a very kind manner, they introduced me to the often humorous land of malapropisms and I have never forgotten that lesson.

With a four and five year old roaming in our house, malapropisms abound. Two of the funniest to be heard in our clan took place tonight, in less than the span of five minutes.

We have satellite radio in our Prius. It was the last thing I thought we would want, but the car came with a trial period, and when the three months expired, I found I just couldn't stop. I love the wide variety of musical selections and there is nearly always something to suit my mood or wide ranging tastes.

This evening, I took the kids cruising to see Christmas lights at our local outlet mall. I know that sounds more than a little wrong. But please allow me to explain.....our outlet mall purports to have THE largest live Christmas tree in the U.S. (bigger than Rockefeller Center, bigger than the White House, or at least, so says the mall), the tree is decorated to the hilt with gorgeous lights and the trees throughout the parking lot are absolutely beautiful, tree trunks wrapped in simple white light trunks with red lighted tree tops.

But I digress.... So here we were, listening to music and cruising our little town. When songs come on, sometimes I like to play 'name the artist' with the kids. I'm trying to help them develop their musical ear, partly due my parent's musical influence, and no doubt, partly due to this strange but completely useless talent I possess of being able to hear just a few notes of just about any song and name both the tune and the artist. If I never have heard the song before, but its by an artist I'm familiar with, I can usually figure it out in a bar or two.

OK, so a Frank Sinatra song pops up, and I ask the kids, "who's singing?" I can see Sophia smiling in the rear view mirror as she somewhat shyly offers up "Frank Sir Nostrils." All I can say, is that I was laughing so hard, I very nearly peed my pants, OK, maybe there was just a wee bit of leakage associated with this laugh, but at least it wasn't enough to ruin the upholstery.

After the song ends, I decide to change the station, and I land on a U2 song. U2 just happens to be Colin's favorite band and the kids know that. I ask "who do you think is singing this song?" there is a bit of a pause, so I decide to help out "it's Daddy's favorite band," Sophia immediately pipes up "You Toot." I've heard her use this malapropism from time to time, so the upholstery wasn't in much danger this time....that is, until both kids start cracking up, because they know what Sophia said is funny. Anyway, the conversation detiorerated from there, and Keenan's teacher, Miss Pattee would not have been happy with all the potty talk going on in our car. It got so bad, I finally had to tell the kids to 'put a lid on it', which merely resulted in a whole new gale of giggles.

Yes, suffice to say, Mrs. Malaprop is alive and well in our little family.

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm

2010-12-18T18:44:00.000-08:00

95% of the time, Sophia is a sunny, compliant and loving child. Her teachers are fortunate to get this Sophia nearly 100% of the time and they find it difficult to believe that she is ever anything but sweet and happy.

It appears the other 5% is reserved almost exclusively for me. Her moods can change faster than the speed of light and much of the time, I have no idea what triggers the change. I do know that three things can bring some dramatic changes to her disposition; sleep, hunger and sadness. Unfortunately, she rarely gives me any signals that trouble is brewing in any one of those departments. She eats nearly every hour (and I do mean every hour) so it's never like she has gone very long without nourishment. She doesn't yawn when she is tired, the only clue I have that fatigue is setting in is when she begins to laugh maniacally. Her sadness about missing Colin comes in intense waves and is usually worse at the beginning and the end of his working days. None of this is surprising, but at times, her mood swing is so spectacular, her sadness so profound, her words to me so sharp, it literally leaves me with my mouth hanging open.

The good news is that her difficult moods often revert back just as quickly. Of course, that sudden flip flop can be equally disconcerting.

I firmly believe that not having her emotional needs met for the first 10 months of her life has shaped some of our little girl's personality. I know the orphanage staff did the absolute best they could with few resources. I just wish that Sophia and the other girls never had to go through those formative months without the hugs and comfort they so very much deserved. And I sincerely wish I could give her enough comfort and security to make up for all that she missed. I recognize that some holes can't be easily filled but, one thing is for certain, I will never stop trying.

The Kids Are Reading

2010-12-18T13:13:00.001-08:00

Well, sort of.....

Sophia has steadily been making progress in the reading department. She has been able to get through small books on her own for several weeks now. She still makes mistakes and takes a bit of time sounding her words out, but she has memorized numerous sight words and she quickly recognizes them when she comes across them.

Keenan's pre-school teacher taught Kindergarten up until this year. So she has been working with the kids on phonics since Day 1 of school and Keenan frequently practices the letter sounds.

The other day, I was working with Sophia with word flash cards. She was struggling with a word when Keenan stunned me by supplying her with it. I ran 30 flash cards by him and he read nearly every word. I asked him how long he has been able to read words and he just shrugged and replied "a while." The long and the short of it is that he reads when he feels like it and I'm just going with the flow, making sure I don't pressure him in this department.

As for Sophia? The fact that her 'little' brother is now reading was a great motivator for her. I can hear her over the monitor before she goes to sleep, practicing reading aloud. It's pretty funny what can inspire a kid to learn.

In the meantime, Sophia is now enrolled for next year's partial immersion Mandarin 1st grade class. She has already gotten a great start with Mandarin in Kindergarten, but starting next year, all of her math and science is taught only in Mandarin. The administrators are hoping (and so are we) that the program will continue to grow with the kids and they will have Mandarin immersion through high school. We are hoping that Keenan will also be in the program. As a sibling, he has some priority, but our kids are also open enrollees, so time will tell.

Pajama Day at Pre-school

2010-12-17T17:49:00.000-08:00

Keenan's teacher, Ms. Pattee had a Pajama Day for the kids. Mrs. Claus showed up to read Polar Express while the kids drank hot chocolate. Keenan is sooooo excited about Christmas. Well, for that matter, so is Sophia. They spend the day singing Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and the Twelve Days of Christmas. It's really pretty funny and very sweet.

Cookie Baking Time

2010-12-16T20:40:00.000-08:00

Cuddles with Opah and Nana

2010-12-16T20:33:00.000-08:00

My folks came out to visit and the kids got some great cuddles.

Tennis Pros

2010-12-16T20:29:00.000-08:00

The kids were all dressed up to attend the monthly tennis clinic. Unfortunately, once we got up to the courts, we found out it had been cancelled because they were the only ones signed up. Keenan felt we needed some natural smiles in these photos, so he employed the tickling technique.

2010-12-16T20:14:00.000-08:00

There really isn't anything finer than an Arizona sunset. We go to view this one from our backyard.

Day at the Zoo

2010-12-05T19:35:00.000-08:00

Colin left for Japan a couple of days ago. The kids have been understandably feeling a little blue. I figured a day at the Zoo was just what the doctor ordered. We had an amazing day, the kids were well behaved and had so many great adventures. I went ahead and bought an annual membership as part of their Christmas present so we can go as often as we want without forking out $54 dollars each visit.

Feeding the Giraffes

2010-12-05T19:29:00.000-08:00

The Phoenix Zoo offers the opportunity (for a fee of course) to feed the giraffes. It really was worth the $3 and the kids absolutely loved the experience.

Camel Ride at the Phoenix Zoo

2010-12-05T19:14:00.000-08:00

The kids got their first visit to the Phoenix Zoo today. They had many adventures, but they really liked their camel ride. Sophia took the picture of the Cheetah. She showed great composition, but there was a little too much shade.

Keenan's Photos

2010-12-05T19:09:00.000-08:00

Keenan has continued to borrow Sophia's camera and his steadiness is improving.

Tickle Tickle

2010-12-05T07:05:00.000-08:00

In a previous post, I mentioned that the only time Keenan poses with a natural smile is when we tickle him. It's not always easy to take pictures and tickle him at the same time, so Keenan came up with his own solution to this challenge, he tickled himself. And boy did he crack himself up.

Aunt Cat's Visit

2010-12-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, one of my close friends, Cat, visited from Sacramento. It's been a while since we got to see Aunt Cat but now that we are living in Phoenix (her old stomping grounds), we're hoping it will happen more often and maybe we can also see Dillon, Mason and Uncle Robin.

Aunt Cat got Sophia this adorable outfit (not the purple pants, those were from outfit she had been wearing earlier), Keenan got a cool Robot t-shirt and some great shoes. Thanks Aunt Cat and it was really great seeing you.

A Whole Lot of Hair

2010-12-05T06:22:00.000-08:00

Colin actually cuts his own hair, so it was easy for him to switch gears and give Keenan a much needed haircut. Keenan has not always been fond of haircuts, but he was a trooper during this one. Sophia's hair was nearly at her waist, so Daddy gave her a long overdue trim too.

Thanksgiving with Family

2010-11-29T07:49:00.000-08:00

Colin's Mom has been visiting for the past couple of weeks. Her sister, Janet, and her nephew and his wife (Jason and Diane) live nearby so they were able to join us for Thanksgiving dinner. It was great meeting them and they kindly posed for a family photo.

Hat Day

2010-11-29T07:41:00.000-08:00

Sophia's New Outfits

2010-11-29T07:38:00.000-08:00

Marz's Photo Shoot

2010-11-29T07:35:00.000-08:00

Posing for Photos

2010-11-29T07:28:00.000-08:00

These days it's pretty tough to get a natural smile out of Keenan, he tenses his mouth and sticks his jaw out. The best photos come when he is laughing about something. Meanwhile, Sophia has been brave and has allowed Keenan to borrow her camera. He's starting to take some good photos.

Jo Jo's Visit

2010-11-29T07:23:00.000-08:00

Project with Daddy

2010-11-29T07:21:00.000-08:00

Smiles

2010-11-29T07:18:00.000-08:00

Visit with Aunt Betsy and Jo Jo Becomes a Pirate

2010-11-29T07:11:00.000-08:00

With all of us sick for the past several weeks, I fell behind on my posts again. Now it's time to play catch up. Aunt Betsy and Uncle John visited from Denver the first week in November and the kids loved spending time with them.

Keenan got to bring another class stuffed animal home. This time it was Jo Jo. Keenan taught him how to be a pirate and Jo Jo went everywhere with Keenan for the better part of a week.

Overheard in Our House This Morning

2010-11-23T03:03:00.000-08:00

The kids were very excited to get up this morning because Daddy was coming home. Keenan is usually a slow starter in the morning and he can be quite grouchy and quiet, but today, his head suddenly popped up, he was fully awake and he had a broad grin on his face. Then all at once, with a look of studied concentration, his first words to me were "You know, the Mayflower didn't have any bedrooms or bathrooms (long pause as he contemplates this statement)............I guess that means the pilgrims had to go pee pee in the water."

His delivered this pearl of wisdom with such comedic timing that I was laughing so hard, I nearly wet my pants. I guess it was a good thing I wasn't on the Mayflower, at least I could make use of our bathroom.

It's been a pretty long week.....

2010-11-13T19:31:00.000-08:00

Be warned, a very long run on sentence follows.....

To sum it up, Sophia spiked a temperature of 105 on Sunday, then Keenan joined in on the 'I'm sick" fun, Colin left for Japan on Monday, the kids were out of school all week, Sophia got diagnosed with an ear infection, on Thursday Keenan slipped and fell and took a hard hit to the back of the head, started to complain his head was hurting, CAT scan on Friday, thankfully, his head was OK but it revealed he had a bad sinus infection, both kids are now on antibiotics and hopefully on the mend, I woke up this morning feeling like I had swallowed a thousand razor blades, can hardly breathe through my nose, it has felt like a very long week indeed.

I'm hoping next week goes a little better. More photos to come, that is, as soon I start to feel semi human again.

Meet the Mystery Gang

2010-11-04T09:52:00.000-07:00

OK, we were missing Freddy and the Mystery Machine, but Scooby, Daphne, Shaggy and Velma made an appearance. Unfortunately, very few people seemed to understand who we were. Maybe we should have brought along a cardboard cut out Freddy.

Sophia's Transformation into Daphne

2010-11-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

We couldn't find a suitable wig for Sophia's Daphne costume, so we opted for spraying instead. She loved being Daphne.

Keenan's School Costume Parade

2010-11-04T09:42:00.000-07:00

Keenan's pre-school had a Halloween parade. Keenan was so happy to finally wear his Scooby costume. At one point, he bent down to pick something up, and the photo is cute, all you can see is Scooby.

Halloween Preparations

2010-11-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

We were busy in the days leading up to Halloween. The gingerbread haunted mansion turned out pretty good and it was fun to put together.

Our neighbor's kids helped out with the pumpkin carving. Sophia likes to get right in there and remove the pumpkin innards but Keenan wants no part of that aspect of the process. He does enjoy helping punch out the carvings. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture of the end result (a pirate ship).

Keenan Takes a Nap

2010-10-28T20:01:00.000-07:00

Keenan has the knack of falling asleep nearly anywhere. That is, other than in his bed and at the designated bed time. When he saw these photos of his mid Cars Wii siesta, he asked me, "Mommy, why do you always take pictures of me when I sleep, is it because I look cute when I sleep?" Yes, my little bear, the answer is yes.

Block Party

2010-10-28T19:44:00.000-07:00

We have some really nice neighbors and they are far more social and extroverted than we are. They are able to throw a block party together with a moment's notice and don't seem to exhibit even the slightest amount of stress. As for me? I have always been an introvert and tend to be uncomfortable in large gatherings. Sophia seems to take after me while Keenan is ready to be the life of the party.

Sophia did have a chance to play "Feed the Kitty" with some new friends while Keenan focused on keeping his distance from another little boy who had been monopolizing the electric car for most of the evening. Keenan finally got his chance to ride the car and he wasn't about it give it back after only riding it for three minutes. With each pass, Keenan eyed the little boy warily because the boy kept pursuing him. Keenan rode for another five minutes and then gallantly drove up to a girl that had been waiting and handed the car over to her with a flourish, but not before staring down the other little boy who tried his best to oust it from the little girl. Apparently, chivalry can still be found, even among four year olds.

All Smiles

2010-10-24T11:48:00.000-07:00

Daddy's on his way home, so it is all smiles with the kids. Poor Keenan is still on the mend from a unpleasant bout with an ailment that produced prodigious amounts of vomit. Thankfully, he seems to be feeling a lot better.

Oh, and there was that little incident at school where his face met a chair (hence the cut over his eye). I'm trying to get used to the phone calls from the school letting me know he got hurt, but it still racks my nerves. I really should be used to it by now, this little boy has two left feet and love of danger.

Great Concentration

2010-10-21T19:53:00.001-07:00

When Keenan is playing with his trains, he exhibits such great concentration. He is utterly absorbed in his imagination and has great running commentary about the action. I love just sitting and watching him play.

The kids also love playing their Leapsters and both are unable to communicate with the outside world when they are in the Leapster Zone.

Enough Words...It's Time for Some Photos!

2010-10-21T19:44:00.000-07:00

Painting Day was a great success. The weather was gorgeous and the kids were enthusiastic, it was a lot of fun. I think we'll have painting days more often.

Parking lots and pre-schools

2010-10-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

I wrote this for my son's pre-school but I thought it wouldn't hurt to post it on the blog too.

As I was pulling into the parking lot to drop my son off to pre-school the other day, I noticed a mother backing up her car while she was talking on her cell phone. For me, seeing this simple act in a parking lot full of children triggered some very unwelcome memories.

In a former life (the one I had before I had kids), I was a police officer in California. By the very nature of the work, police officers tend to see a lot of things they would just as soon forget. For me, the memory that haunts me most is an accident that occurred outside a local pre-school.

While a Mother was dropping off her older son off at pre-school, her younger son unexpectedly pulled away from her grasp (it was a hot day and their palms were sweaty and slick). She immediately reached out for him but before she could grab him, he was struck by a passing car. The Mother told me he had been laughing just before the car hit him, he never saw the danger he was in. The little boy suffered a severe head injury and other officers and paramedics struggled to stabilize him at the scene. When he was ready to be transported, I was tasked with driving the Mother to the hospital. The Mother’s cries and screams of anguish in that fifteen minute drive is a sound I will never forget.

The little boy survived, but had significant brain damage. He would never be the same. His Mother, Brother, Father and other family members and friends would never be the same. In this instance, there was nothing the driver could have done to prevent the accident, but she was horrified and traumatized. She would never be the same.

The tragedy took less than five seconds to unfold but the pain and loss would last a lifetime.

There is one question I would like you to ask yourself…is that phone call really that important? Is it worth risking someone else’s life? Is it worth risking forever altering your life, your family’s life?

Inattention and distractions in school parking lots are not problems unique to the parking lot at my son's pre-school. I watch the same things happening when I take my daughter to her elementary school. Many parents drive talking on their cell phones, or talk to each other out the window of their cars, they often drive too fast, and can be extraordinarily impatient and reckless. Due to the way children’s brains develop, small children have poor impulse control and by their very nature are impatient and unpredictable. Putting all these factors together in a crowded and busy parking lot is a recipe for disaster.

We are the adults and so it’s up to us to act responsibly and attentively. Put down your cell phone, ignore any incoming phone calls, slow down and pay attention. Just because your child seems to be responsible, don’t trust them to make good decisions while they are in a parking lot. Carry them, or hold them firmly by the wrist and don’t start chatting with your friend until they are safely inside the school. Avoid walking your kids through the parking lot behind other cars, use the designated walking areas and medians, even if the route is considerably longer.

Slowing down and paying better attention might cost you a few seconds of your time but it also just might save you a lifetime of regret.

****************************************************************************
Additional comments. Donna T. made some important additional points in the comment section. Donna is also former law enforcement and her observations about little ones being too little to be seen by cars backing up is incredibly important. I needed to keep my letter for the school at one page and I struggled with space and wanted to add this important aspect to parking lot hazards but just didn't have the room. Thanks Donna for taking the time to point out how vulnerable little kids are walking in any parking lot, school or otherwise.

Trains and the Park

2010-10-16T19:49:00.000-07:00

Today Sophia had a play date for three hours and Keenan was very upset that he couldn't go with her. It was time for some quality Mother and Son time.

Our community has a really unique feel to it. Residents jokingly say they don't like leaving the 'compound', it has most of the amenities you could ever need and some really wonderful parks. I love that we are in a somewhat remote suburb but there are times that I feel like I'm in Chicago's Lincoln Park area. Now that the weather has cooled down a bit, there is so much activity in our community. People walking, running, riding bikes, playing Frisbee, huge cookouts in the park, ducks to be fed, playgrounds to be played, and most importantly for Keenan.....trains to be ridden.

The kiddie train that loops the perimeter of the main park is a highlight for him. He always begs to go on it (which isn't always easy because it's really not that cheap) and he smiles from ear to ear and cuddles up close as the train plods along. The park is always playing the Beatles at the train depot and Keenan loves to tell me "listen, I think that's the Beatles" I praise him for his astute ear and then we play the game of- whose singing, John or Paul...he almost always gets this wrong but he is so proud when he gets it right with his second guess :)

So today I felt so incredibly lucky to spend three hours in the park with our son. Riding a train, feeding the ducks (especially the funny looking one with the strange beak), playing in the playground and getting ice cream. Yes, indeed, I so enjoyed trains in the park with Keenan.

Growing Pains

2010-10-16T19:08:00.000-07:00

Sophia is sweet, smart, sociable and loves to play. But she is human, and as such, she has foibles. She can be a tad bossy when playing with others, be it adults, or other children, Sophia has a temper (which she usually only displays around people she is close to), and she can be incredibly stubborn.

So far, her teachers adore her because she is bright, helpful and very compliant. In fact, when they split her Kindergarten class because it was too large, the two teachers actually argued over who got to have her in their class.

Sophia looks forward to going to school and seemed to be making friends. But this week, I noticed she seemed a little sad when I took her to school. I asked her if everything was going OK at school or if there was anythings he wanted to talk about, but she just shook her head no. Talking about her feelings does not come easily for Sophia and it takes quite a bit of prodding to get her to discuss what is bothering her. When I noticed the sadness three days in a row, I decided it was time to gently push the issue.

My first concern was that she was perhaps being bullied by one of her classmates. There is a boy in her class that picked on her a lot the first couple weeks of school. I caught it early and had talked to the teachers who seemed quite responsive to the situation. Sophia said the boy no longer picks on her and has actually helped her on occasion. After several minutes of talking to her, she finally gave up what was bothering her. She said that she doesn't feel like she has any friends. The one girl that she had been eating lunch with no longer sits with her and actually moves to eat with another girl. Sophia is feeling confused and lonely and my heart just aches for her.

We are lucky, Sophia's school permits parents to join their children at lunch. I had been doing that once or twice a week since school started. I don't want to go everyday, because I wanted to her to make her own friends. But when she told me how she felt, I told her I would join her for lunch more often and that made her happy.

I'm trying to reach out and arrange 'play dates' for her. That seems to have helped a little, but she is very sensitive and if she feels like the friend is playing with someone else more, her feelings are hurt. One on one play dates seem to work out better but it takes time to get to know people.

I explained that we are new to the neighborhood and that many of the girls went to pre-school together and have known each other for a while and that sometimes it just takes a little time to meet people and make good friends. That seems to make her feel better but there is no getting around that fact that she is melancholy right now. To make matters worse, Keenan and Sophia are fighting like the Gingham Dog and the Calico Cat these days. I know the sibling stuff can tough. I naively thought that because they were seeing less of each other, they would be happy to spend time with one another. It doesn't seem to be working out quite that way.

In the meantime, I will keep setting up 'play dates' (I have to admit, I really dislike that phrase). Tomorrow morning, I'm sticking the kids in the jogging stroller and we are going to run to Walgreens to pick up so water color paints. The three of us are going to have a paint party tomorrow morning on the back patio. When I made this suggestion at dinner, her face lit up and she cheered up considerably. I know both kids are missing their Daddy but we are on a 7 day countdown and they can't wait to see him.

Life just gets a little more complicated the older you get. My biggest hope is that Sophia and Keenan have a relatively smooth road because they have already been through so much. But I know that the road of life has bumps and ruts and it seldom leads to where you expect. Mostly I hope they both can find contentment and a few good friends along the way.

A Punch in the Gut

2010-10-16T18:13:00.000-07:00

Everyone who has ever had kids will tell you how fast they grow up. But the first couple of years, I was so busy changing diapers, dressing kids, feeding everyone and waking up 15 times a night with Keenan that it was almost a blur. And honestly, there are aspects of that time period that I do not miss.

Then yesterday, Sophia said something to me that hit me like a punch to the gut. We were at the local park and I was pushing Keenan on the swing and Sophia was on the swing next to him. Sometimes Sophia will ask for a small push to get started but she is very capable of keeping herself going. At one point, I reached over to give her an extra push just to make sure she wasn't feeling left out. Her response? "No Mommy! I don't need help anymore, I can swing by myself."

That's when it hit me....she is growing up, starting to become more self sufficient and there are just some things she doesn't need or want me to help her with anymore. I imagine that before long, this phenomena will become more prevalent, and Keenan will soon follow suit.

Just like that, I felt this immense wave of sadness. I'm so proud of all that she is becoming, but I just didn't realize how it would be tinged with such regret. That moment, the one where she would prod "Mommy, please push me on the swing", that moment has passed. And that's just how quickly it happened.

So feeling nostalgic, I looked at the kids' baby books. When I look at the photos of me with the kids, I see a woman who looks happy but who often looks exhausted and sometimes overwhelmed. I see two little babies doing things that were sweet and cute. They still do sweet and cute things each and every day, but those early years are gone. Thankfully those moments are well documented in photos and on this blog. Sophia's comment reminded me that when the kids ask me to do something for them that I know they can do themselves, sometimes it's OK to go ahead and help them anyway, because before I know it, they won't be asking anymore and those moments will have passed.

"Up" was a downer..............

2010-10-16T16:15:00.000-07:00

On Friday nights, I like to pop some popcorn and watch a movie with the kids. It's a good way for us to reconnect after their long week at school and I also like to give the kids a chance to stay up a little later than on school nights. The kids have enjoyed this tradition, that is, until last night.

I had ordered the Pixar movie "Up" from Netflix some time ago but it has been sitting around for the better part of a month. I decided that last night was a good time to watch it.

I have to preface this by saying that Sophia is very easily frightened by movies while Keenan usually remains pretty unruffled, especially if Colin or I are nearby.

Keenan and I were enjoying "Up" and Sophia was predictably a little less enthusiastic. But as the movie got about 3/4 the way through, Keenan started to inch closer to me, which is not unusual during tense scenes. However, when the dogs turned vicious again, and the bad man was trying to hurt Kevin and his friends, Keenan came unglued, and Sophia quickly followed suit. I could not turn the movie off fast enough for them. Even after the T.V. doors were shut, Keenan was repeatedly wailing "I miss Daddy" and tears were streaming down his sweet little face. I felt so bad because it is so unlike him. It took a long time to get everyone calmed down. I'm still not entirely sure what triggered his anxiety but today, he did tell me that he wanted Daddy there to protect him when he was scared.

So Honey, you truly do not need worry that your kids are so used to you being away that they no longer need you. If anything, your absences cause them to need you all the more. I'm sure that's not much comfort but I thought you should know.

The Long and the Short of It Revisited

2010-10-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

I have had some people try to find my update post in September (The Long and the Short of It) and, for some reason, it doesn't show up on September's archive and I can't figure it out. So for the benefit of those who are directly trying to find this particular post (Mom, you know who you are :) I'm posting it again. For those who have already read it, I apologize for the repeat.

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September 2010

I'll start with the obvious....prior to yesterday's post, it had been a long time since I ventured into the blogging world.

Suffice to say, we were busy, very busy and I just didn't have a lot of extra energy at the end of the day. We have made three major moves in four years and I'm hoping this last one is the last one for many years to come.

Seattle was beautiful and we had fantastic neighbors. For Colin, the commute to Japan was quite easy. That being said, the schools in our area were very poor and it was also far colder than I could have imagined. The rain and the gloom really didn't bother me but I discovered I was really sick of being cold. At the end of June, it was still in the 50s! I grew up mostly in Arizona. Many of my closest friends were there. I longed for my friends and some warmer weather.

Thankfully, Colin was on board. We had almost purchased a house in Phoenix back in 2005. So he was familiar with the area and liked it. Of course, he had yet to experience a Phoenix summer, but I figured he went to college in Florida and could probably handle the heat. We have been here since July. Although we are ready for the mercury to dip below 100 degrees, we have all handled the summer just fine. In fact, the kids spent most it learning to swim (and, in fact, are still working on it).

We have bought a house and are in a school district that offers a partial immersion program for Mandarin. We were lucky to get Sophia in and she is loving it! Keenan is going to pre-school and never seems to want to leave when I pick him up.

We are extremely grateful that Colin has a good job, but the extended time away is hard on everyone, especially the kids. We know that this is how it has to be for now, we just hope that things will get a bit easier as time goes on. At least now I have close friends nearby and that has made a huge difference! After we moved here, one of our friends volunteered to take the kids for an afternoon so I could run some errands. When I went to pick them up, some mutual friends had stopped by their house. We said hi and exchanged hugs and Sophia asked me "how do you know them?" I explained they were old friends of mine and she just looked at me with the blank stare. It occurred to me that over the years, she has rarely seen me interact with friends, mostly just family. Old friends were an alien concept but now she really looks forward to seeing them. She is also starting to make her own friends and we are about to enter the dawn of the 'playdate' era.

Both kids seem to be fascinated by the desert, with the understandable exception of rattlesnakes and scorpions and a variety of creepy crawlies. Unfortunately, we have already had several scorpions in our house (the house had been vacant for quite a while) and we had to pay to have the house "sealed" and hopefully there won't be any more scorpion encounters.

As for mammals, we have also had a couple of encounters on that front. One evening, while my Mom was visiting, we took a family walk. I knelt down to check the dog's paw and I heard Colin, my Mom and the kids talking about the kitty cat across the street. I looked up and said "uh, guys, that's no kitty cat, that's a Bobcat." Thankfully, he didn't seem to be interested in us, so we were able to move on without incident. Hopefully this curbed any urge the kids might have had to pet outdoor "kitties." Especially since we have had a couple stroll through our front yard at dusk while we were outside. Coyotes seem to like to hang out by the local Walgreens and we have spotted some crossing the road in our downtown area. We live in a planned community, but we are on the edge of the desert, so it kind of goes with the territory. I'm happy to report that we have had more pleasant encounters with Roadrunners, Chipmunks, Hummingbirds, Butterflies, Dragonflies, Jackrabbits, coveys of Quail and Lizards galore. When I get back from my runs, the kids want a full report on how many of these I spotted while I was out and about.

We tried to get a second dog to help keep Marz company. She was sweet and tiny, but also came from an abusive home. Keenan's boisterous nature scared her and she nipped him, then Sophia and then the rest of us. Though she didn't have big teeth, we couldn't take the chance of having her hurt someone, so unfortunately, having two dogs was short lived.

Sophia is now five years old and Keenan just turned four. They are both trying to learn how to read and really seem to enjoy their new home. Sophia told me she never wants to move again. I hope we never have to because I'm really happy to be home and I'm sick of moving and really sick of painting walls. But with the aviation business, you just never know.

In the meantime, we have been working on getting the grandparents to relocate. I suspect it's going to be a tough sell since I don't think they trust us not to move again. I can't say I entirely blame them.

Sophia loves wearing dresses and shorts. If given a choice, she will always choose a dress. The only time we can get her in anything but sandals is when she is playing tennis or doing some other sports activity and that is after considerable cajoling from me. She is sweet, curious and smarter than a whip.

Keenan is funny as ever. He chooses new characters to be every day (last week it was Scooby, Daphne and Fred, this week he is Rainbow Fish). He talks to everyone and says a lot of funny things. The pre-school staff can't get over how articulate, smart and charming he is (most of the time anyway). He is creative, loves to draw and sing and has an incredible imagination.

Both are growing up so fast, it feels like a blur. But this is such a great age, I'm just doing my best to take it all in and get as many hugs and kisses as they are willing to part with (before they get any older and decide those things aren't cool).

That's all for now, I just can't write like I used to, but I can post more photos :)

Undegarments

2010-10-08T14:21:00.000-07:00

Sophia hates wearing pants. I strongly suspect that one of the reasons she loves being in Arizona because she can wear dresses nearly every day. There is only one problem.....she sometimes forgets to put on her underwear.

Because of this intermittent oversight, I do an "underwear check" before we leave the house to take her to school. However, today I was running late and in my rush, I forgot to do this routine check. So I took her to school, completely unaware she had chosen today to go commando.

Fast forward to a couple of hours later. I was getting my hair done and my hair dresser had just finished putting in the last of my highlight foils when I heard my cell phone ring. Because the kids are in school, I always check to see who is calling just in case the school needed to get a hold of me for some emergency. Sure enough, it was Sophia's school and my heart went into my throat, thinking she had gotten hurt. I should have picked up on the embarrassed tone of the woman who was calling. After reassuring me that Sophia was not injured, she paused and said "umm...a fellow student noticed that Sophia wasn't wearing any undergarments today and we were wondering if you could bring some." Looking at myself in the mirror, with foils sticking out in every direction, bearing a strong resemblance to the Bride of Frakenstien, I asked her if it was possible if I could bring the missing wardrobe pieces at lunch time. Fortunately, that was agreeable to the school.

At lunch time, I sauntered into the lunch room and ambled up to Sophia and asked her to accompany me to the rest room. She followed me without protest but when I started to take her into the stall, she said "but Mommy, I don't have to go the bathroom" I replied, "ahhh, but I think you do" pulling her Fancy Nancy underwear out of my purse with a flourish. She giggled and said "I guess I forgot my underwear" and put them on without further delay.

When I picked her up from school and talked to her teacher. She was very nice about it and fortunately, it was one of Sophia's girl friends that noticed the commando status and privately brought it to the teacher's attention.

In the future, I don't think I will ever forget to check Sophia's underwear status.

Sophia Is Reading!

2010-10-06T20:12:00.000-07:00

Sophia is finally starting to read on her own! Tonight she read us four books and there was only one word she couldn't figure out. I'm so proud of all her efforts! She is growing up sooooo fast.

Finding Ourselves Again.........

2010-10-06T20:11:00.001-07:00

The past two years have presented us with a fair amount of challenges and change. In the midst of such turmoil, it's easy to lose yourself as individuals. Colin recently told me that he finally is starting to feel like himself again.

Starting to fly in another country with such great cultural differences was difficult and he tried to change his flying style to adapt to his environment. Now he realizes he has to fly the way that works best for him and just be himself. He says it's a relief to feel centered again.

I can relate to his experience on a different level. Quite unconsciously, I found myself going into survival mode to cope with the drastic changes we have experienced in the past couple of years. I pretty much withdrew from the outside world and really did a poor job of keeping up with my friends. I stopped doing some of my favorite things and I didn't even realize it was happening.

Perhaps it has something to do with my feeling of having come home (to Arizona that is) and getting a little more settled, that has allowed me to take a deep breath (for what seems like the first time in over a year), and get back to doing more of what I enjoy. Spending time reading to the kids, going for walks as a family, reading a good mystery novel before bed, taking the dog for a walk by myself, or maybe just sit and do nothing but enjoy the sunset. It seems like I should also add riding to this list but I don't think I'm quite ready to own another horse or devote the time needed to keep up said horse. But I am enjoying playing tennis. I'm not very good at it but I think I'm going to start taking lessons next week and hopefully that will enable me to play decently enough that I don't feel so guilty for running poor Colin all over the court, to the ends of the earth, and back again.

Originally, I created this blog as way to deal with our journey (and wait) to become parents. Once the kids were in the picture (literally), the blog morphed into my musings about parenthood and, most importantly, to document Sophia and Keenan's childhood. I did pretty good the first two and a half years but have failed pretty miserably the past two. I feel like I'm ready to resume what I set out to do. I don't think that many people still read this blog, but since I'm primarily writing it for the kids, I'm okay with that. Besides, this way I won't have to worry so much about my typos :)

In the meantime, I'm going to head to bed, snuggle in and break out the latest Janet Evanovitch book and have a few laughs. And that feels pretty good indeed.

Sophia's New Ride

2010-10-06T19:57:00.001-07:00

Sophia had completely outgrown her little 12" bike and it was clearly time for a larger bike. Unfortunately, in spite of the training wheels, last week she took a pretty good tumble off it and has not wanted to get back on.

The only way I could finally persuade her to get back into the saddle was to plaster every form of knee, elbow and hand protection on her that I could find. I also have to walk alongside her, ready to steady any bobble before she will agree to even get near her beautiful new bike.

The weather has finally cooled down a bit, so when I picked her up from school today, I suggested we go outside so she could ride her bike. She looked at me horrified and emphatically shook her head no. When that didn't dissuade me, she took a different tact "riding my bike is so boring." I countered that I did not want her to be one of the few five year olds in her class that couldn't/wouldn't ride a bike. She did not appear to be impressed with my argument and promptly changed the subject.

Well, I must have made a little headway, because not 15 minutes after we got home, she disappeared while I was prepping their lunch boxes for tomorrow. I assumed Sophia was playing with her dolls in her room. So imagine my surprise when she came around the corner in her helmet and all her protective glory, and announced she was ready to ride her bike. She actually made it out of the garage, and she seemed a little more confident, so I think progress was made. I just hope it continues.

Even the Dog Gets Sad

2010-10-06T19:40:00.001-07:00

I will preface this post by stating that we are very grateful that Colin has a good job. I remind myself of that fact nearly every day. Having said that, his prolonged absences have been difficult for all of us, especially the kids. Thank goodness for Skype, I'm not sure how we would have survived without it. At the moment, for the most part, Colin is away 20 or 21 days at a time is home 11. Some months are worse, with him gone for 30 plus days. Colin knows he is lucky to have a paycheck but feels like he is missing his kids growing up. As for me, each and every time we take Colin to the airport and I watch Sophia's face crumple up the moment he leaves the car, or I hold the kids tight while they sob because they miss their Daddy so much, my heart twists and breaks a little more each time.

I honestly don't know how military families do this and even endure far longer separations on a routine basis. I have the utmost respect for their incredible sacrifice.

On Monday, Colin left for Japan. This time it was my face that crumpled when he left the car and kids tried to cheer me up. Marz accompanied us to the airport and even he looked forlorn when the door shut. This is how he has been looking for the past three days, he gets so depressed and withdrawn when Colin leaves.

Today we pulled out the calendar and began the count down to Daddy's return. The upside is that when he is home, he is fully present and wants nothing more than to spend time with his family. All of us truly treasure our time together and I hope we always remember this hard won lesson.

Montezuma's Castle

2010-10-04T20:10:00.000-07:00

From the time Colin and I met and he found out that I grew up in Arizona, he always talked about the time he traveled to Arizona with his family when he was kid. The thing he remembered most vividly (that is after the Donkey poop on the Grand Canyon trail memory-which by all family accounts were Colin's undoing in the holding down your food department) was Montezuma's Castle.

It has always been a favorite spot of mine, so I looked forward to visiting it with him. I didn't imagine that it would take some nine years and two kids later to actually make it there, but things unfold as they do and we finally got around to it. The kid's thought it was great fun (although maybe a tad too hot for such an adventure). Both kids wanted to know why they couldn't climb up there (sorry the site has been off limits for the better part of a half a century) and Colin couldn't get over how much smaller it seemed than he remembered -isn't that the way it goes........ Nevertheless, the trip was a lot of fun and I can't wait to play more of the tour guide role and perhaps see a few tourist sites I never got around to seeing in my 22 years in the Grand Canyon State.

To be honest, I can't remember which photos were taken by Colin and which were taken by Sophia, but here it is all the same....

You Look Marvelous Darlinggggg....

2010-10-04T20:02:00.000-07:00

The kids love to dress up and they just crack us up when they dig into their play hat stockpile. Posing for photos is the compulsory price they pay but neither Sophia or Keenan seem to mind hamming it up, all the while building elaborate creations and dinosaurs out of Trios.

Keenan's Halloween Costume Preview

2010-10-04T19:41:00.000-07:00

The kids love Scooby Doo! They are especially fond of the original episodes featured on the Boomerang Network that we happened to stumble across and have diligently taped on our DVR. Since I was a first generation Scooby fan, I'm more than happy to plop down on the couch with the kids and watch a couple of episodes. I suspect that my childhood love of the Scooby Mysteries gave way to my adult love of mystery novels and my long standing desire to be a detective. So watching Scooby Doo has become our Saturday morning family tradition (just like back in the day, only back then I was the only viewer in my household, so now it is so much more fun! :)

This Scooby Doo fixation in our household has led to Keenan wanting to be called Scooby Doo most of the day, nearly every day! Sophia, of course, adores Daphne. So Sophia came up with a plan for Halloween 2010 that went something like this: Daddy is Shaggy, Mommy is Velma, Keenan is Fred, she is Daphne and Marz is Scooby. Marz was less than thrilled with his designated role as he ALWAYS looks miserable and humiliated when he is paraded around in a Halloween costume. As it turns out, I'm not too crazy about trying to emulate Velma and Keenan wants to be Scooby-Doo. So we found a Scooby Doo costume for Keenan and have pieced together an outfit worthy of Daphne Blake for Sophia. Colin is always a good sport, so Shaggy might make an appearance. I think we'll have to make do with a Scooby Doo lunch box to make sure the Mystery Machine is along for the ride :)

Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. I think it has something to do with growing up in Arizona and Halloween usually marked a significant weather change, when wearing a light sweater or a long sleeve shirt was finally feasible after the long hot summer. Suffice to say, I'm really looking forward to Halloween this year. Even if it means I have to don a red wig, reading glasses, an orange sweater and long orange socks! Well..........maybe.

Keenan's Weekend with Casey

2010-10-04T19:23:00.000-07:00

Keenan's pre-school teacher has a tradition of giving each student the opportunity to spend the weekend with the class mascot, Casey (a little brown bear or dog?). This past Friday, Keenan was grinning ear to ear when he was handed the prized Casey Backpack. Keenan made the most of his weekend with Casey.

Casey had a close call with a one eyed dinosaur that Keenan built, and Keenan might have misplaced Casey a few times, but Keenan loved taking care of him and he even arranged a play date for Casey with Sophia's favorite stuffed animal, Bunny.

It got a little lost...

2010-09-21T00:22:00.000-07:00

It seems that in my haste to catch up, I might have pushed back the blog post which actually fills everyone in on what has been going on.....so here it is again....

http://ourjourneytosophia.blogspot.com/2010/09/long-and-short-of-it.html

Keenan turns four years old!

2010-09-20T23:55:00.000-07:00

And Buzz is right there to celebrate with him.....

Sophia's Growing Up......

2010-09-20T23:46:00.000-07:00

Refer to "The Long and the Short of It" post to catch up......

Keenan is growing up...

2010-09-20T23:39:00.000-07:00

Samurai Pie

2010-09-20T23:31:00.000-07:00

Sophia and Keenan aren't watching The Backyardagins as much as they used to (which makes me pretty sad actually), but they did come across a new episode "Samurai Pie" and they loved it. Sophia took her wonderful chef's hat and apron that Nanny gave Sophia for her 5th birthday and put it to good use.....hai jaaaa!

First Day of School

2010-09-20T23:00:00.000-07:00

More photos......

2010-09-20T22:47:00.000-07:00

Photos

2010-09-20T21:03:00.000-07:00

I will download more photos and post them tomorrow.